Adventures in Piss and Agony: The Chapparal Dog Park

My family and I woke up to a promising, typically warm spring Sunday here in the valley, and we were excited to get outside and enjoy the weather. After a quick breakfast and only a couple mild tantrums, it was decided we would start the day by taking Tigerlily, our loopy lab, to the dog park. We loaded the crew into the car, turned on the Gaga, and headed off. The dog park that is closest to our home is located right in the heart of Scottsdale, which, for those of you who aren't local, is typified by spray tans, $$$, and an assorted slew of acronyms-BMI, IRA, MVP, you get the idea. Not always the coziest, friendliest bunch, but generally not totally unbearable. Until today. We arrived at the dog park as usual and without incident, pleasantly surprised that they had a side of it open that we had never been in before, all grassy and pretty with litttle hills. Our dogs favorite thing to do at the dog park is haul ass in circles. She runs and runs and runs, occassionly cruising by one of us at close range, like a missile narrowly missing its target. Now, usually I wear the baby carrier and wear our infant son Jude on our chest when we go. However, as I'm nursing a back injury, my husband was wearing the baby today. Unfortnately, during one of her high speed grazes, she knocked Ken on his ass, taking Jude down with him. Undoubtedly, no one was to blame for this but our dumb dumb dog, They were both okay, but it scared the holy crap out of the baby, and he was screaming like a hooker in church. I took him from Ken to comfort him, and went to sit in the shade on this little concrete block. He had just started to mellow out, and we were all finally recovering from the sting of embarrassment that comes from being the spectacle of the dog park, when this obese, grey blob of a dog saunters over and while I'm not paying attention , starts to piss all over my legs and brand new, supercute zebra print sandals. DEATH!!!! I screamed-which made Jude start wailing again. The incompetent and flakesville owner runs up and says a half-ass sorry, then points me in the direction of some water before walking off. BITCH-how about offering to pay for my new Roxy flops that you're lumbering piss wagon of a dog just ruined. No one offered to help in anyway, and I was left standing, dripping pee, with a screaming, crying baby. People sure had no problem staring at our crisis, but God forbid someone offer up their water bottle so I could rinse my legs and feet. At this point, I was over it, and just wanted to get the hell out of dodge and to go home and rinse Romeo's piss pheremones off my leg. So, we round up Tigerlily, grab the toddler and the baby and start making our way out, being ogled by the unresponsive, unhelpful, inconsiderate inhuman dog park patrons of central Scottsdale. So, I'm holding my 3 yr olds hand at this point, as we're walking out, and in walks this short, fat squat turtle of a man with his short, fat, squat English Bulldog. Well, as soon as the lil homie was let off his leash, he made for Scarlet like she was made of bacon, jumping up and tackling her. Ken kicked the dog off of her, and then I grabbed it by its collar to hold it back. Meanwhile the slothlike asshole owner is just slowly mosying over, taking his time, not at all concerned by his dogs actions and attack. Ken says to him, "Dude, do you want to hurry and get your dog that just attacked my daughter," and all slob-troll says is"Its a dog park", all curt and nasty. I damn near lost my mind. I proceeded to get all Chuco town hoodrat on him, and was like" Maybe you shouldn't take your damn dog in public if it thinks kids are edible". At this point, he entire dog park was watching us like we were an episode of Cops, and we scooped up our babes and fled that seen as fast as humanly possible. Seriously-zero humanity present in that park today. Granted, I felt like I was trappped in a bad sitcom-who has all this bad shit happen in literally only 5 minutes of being at the dog park? We could feel the scorn of the elitist childless upon us, people who elevate their pets to god-like status to fill the void their empty, latte fueled lives leaves in their barely existent souls. These are the same people who, when the finally have kids through IVF at 48, will raise them to be disrespctful, self absorbed douchbags in the name of "self-esteem". Barf. Next time, we're taking our family circus to the Tempe dog park, with the happy hippy stoners and other friendly folk.

Where have all the smart people gone??????

Well, the damn thing passed. The Pelosi-Reid healthcare bill is now the law of the land. Let's not call it Obamacare, because the former two had a far greater hand in it than the latter. So why am I not rejoicing, given that I most typically identify with the left? Because this bill is seriously flawed, in huge significant ways. To those who say, "well, its and start, and we'll learn from our mistakes along the way", my response is that $964 Billion is a HUGE mistake to learn from, and our economy cannot handle any more squeeze on the middle class-nor can our deficit handle the additional spending that correcting the mistakes will require. I am also burned out on the tired, old rhetoric that if you don't support this bill, you must not care about helping people-au contraire, I care, a lot, but let's start by looking at who we're helping and why. Unless you are elderly AND poor, or disabled and unable to work, medicaid and other government healthcare should be a safety net for when you fall on hard times, not a lifelong solution for you and your family. This is what creates generational entitlements. Allow me to elaborate for you-I spent some time volunteering at a substance abuse program for low-income, young mothers. Of the 11 young women I met and spoke with, only 2 understood that there was private insurance that one could purchase or obtain through employment. The rest of these girls HONESTLY thought that AHCCCS (Arizona's version of medicaid) was the only way to get health coverage. They were all in their early 20's, with multiple children, all had WIC and other services, and ALL had never applied for a job on their own. I do not blame or judge these girls-they were raised not to know any other way. But this is a classic example of what is wrong with our social programs-they aren't a failsafe or back up plan, they are the only way for many people. Unless we go to a completely public, government system, the middle class who pays taxes and pays for insurance will continue to unduly carry the burden of this institutionalized poverty. Obviously, there needs to be much done in the way of jobs and education to address this, but the culture of entitlement needs to be addressed. I literally met one woman who had 9 children, all of whom were in CPS custody because of a PCP addiction. Obviously this is not always the case, and there are many people who legitimately need and deserve aid. But we have to decide as a society how many of our brothers and sisters we're willing to carry on our backs simply because they will not aspire to more. If you think I'm exaggerating, ask a cps worker or social worker-they'll tell you the ignorance and lack of knowledge of options is SHOCKING. There needs to be a balance. We cannot slowly but surely tax away our nation's wealth-we are a consumer sales driven society, like it or not. And if you think any other country has found a better way, with our population and geographic size, please share that example with me, because, thus far, regulated capitalism has been the best and most successful model. Let me stress, I do believe in providing assistance to those in need- I myself benefitted as a young pregnant mother when I had my first child. I recieved Baby Arizona benefits, a program for uninsured pregnant women. I felt that I worked, paid my taxes into the system, and at my hour of need, I took the help that was available, and should always be available. This, to me, is the right way to use these types of services. They are not a long-term plan for healthy adults able to work. Unless there is going to be a fully government, public health system like Canada or the UK that benefits everyone equally, it is unfair and wrong for the government to allow so many to ride its back at the expense of the working class. Ineffieceny could be corrected and addressed-saying it can't, and that its all or nothing, is a lazy copout from both sides. Allow for those truly, not simply habitually, in need to recieve benefits, and provide benefits for all children under 18. Healthy, working age adults need to provide for themselves, unless they are single women raising young children alone, in which case they should have a "Welfare to School" rather than a "Welfare to Work" program that they may participate in. The message is, "We will help you now so that you can better yourself, so that you may in turn someday help others". That topic is a whole other blog, so the point for healthcare-help people help themselves. Create programs to address the institutionalized poverty and ignorance that so much of our population is mired in. Stop letting food stamps pay for unhealthy, processed foods. If you need government assistance, we can at least make sure you're eating healthy so we don't have to pay even more for your healthcare. There is more than one way to create reform, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of people already breaking under this recession. That said, I recognize how out of control and unattainable the cost of health insurance has become. My family spends 25% of our income on insurance premiums-that is INSANE. The issue needs to be addressed at a regulatory level. Let's implement windfall profit taxes, do other things to bring insurance costs down. Let's implement rate hike caps they way we do for public utilities. There is much to be done to reform healthcare, for sure, but letting the government mandate that you purchase something from a private industry sets a scary precedent and opens a potential Pandora's box for government interference in private life. I don't want the government having anymore power than is absolutely necessary. What I'm trying to get at here, is that while parts of this bill are good and will help people, overall it does little to address the real issues facing us, and it once again places the financial burden squarely on he backs of a slowly disappearing middle class. Expanding entitlement programs and entitlement culture will slowly but surely destroy our economy, and our entrepenuerial, hard-working spirit. Ambition and innovation should be celebrated, not diluted with expectation.